Romanticism is very complex topic and it is even more complex when we are talking about it in a country like Saudi Arabia. I am going to talk about in a simplistic term. I think Saudi people are very romantic but they don’t express or talk about Romance in public. They really look for it in their private life.
Romance has been referred to as forbidden thing in Saudi for a long time and i guess this came from misunderstanding of Romanticism and what it actually means.
Saudi men always look at Romance as girly issue and they always get embarrassed of talking about it. I remembered one time , one of my friend got a call from his fiancee. At the end of the call, his fiancee said ” I love You so much” to him. and of course she will wait to hear ” I love you too” back from him. my friend felt very nervous and tried to talk about something completely out of topic because to him it is very embarrassing to say ” i love you” to his fiancee in front of his friend!
So, do you think being Romantic is a good or a bad thing ?
11 Comments
February 21, 2009 at 7:52 AM
I think it’s a good thing, and it’s not a girly issue. The kind of society where your countrymen live in certainly regards it as such, but hey, guys, when given the chance, can be that sentimental and romantic too. I’ve had guy friends confessing to me their heartaches over not hearing what they want so much to hear from their loved ones.
Here I hear people at work saying it to their loved ones over the phone and we don’t react; it’s something expected and we understand that. Saudi guys have a long long way to go still, although some really are comfortable with being romantic.
February 21, 2009 at 2:35 PM
UGH! dont get me started with romance and Saudi men!
February 21, 2009 at 11:09 PM
I agree with Duha, but then I think you are right, all of us in Saudi Arabia are not used to express our selves to others particularly about love, I think being in love soften a man’s personality & makes it more humane, maybe that’s why we see many men and women are somehow unyielding and rigid… I asked my married sister once if her husband is used on adding some romance to the relationship and she looks at me as if I’m unreal…and she kept on telling everyone that I asked her that, I don’t know what’s really wrong in that?…However, Murtadha, you and your readers are invited to answer some of the questions on my blog (latest post), I’m assessing the romance status as well…
N.B.
What do you think of Romance, you’ve listed your friend, how about you?
February 22, 2009 at 4:24 PM
[...] in the United States, writes about romanticism in Saudi society: “I think Saudi people are very romantic but they don’t express or talk about Romance in public. They really look for it in their private [...]
February 22, 2009 at 7:18 PM
coralbead,
It is very interesting to look at US culture and how it view romance! one of my american friend told me that although there is a good atmosphere for romanticism here in US, american people has been moving away from it to materialism and money world!
February 22, 2009 at 7:27 PM
Duha,
I can see your despair clearly! and i am truly with you at this point. we ,saudi men, have been the cause for so many problems. I am trying to move as many saudi as i can to be part of what i called ” feminist movement”
I am going to talk about this in another post. I have been analyzing and observing how the authoritative power that saudi men have and how it has damaged the society!
anyway, as for romance, i realized that many of saudi think that the atmosphere isn’t suitable for romance! of course, this isn’t a good excuse. but it is in fact part of the problem!
February 22, 2009 at 7:34 PM
Halal,
I totally agree with you.
i think that romance is important not because we need it to satisfy our emotional needs, but because of its power in our communication and thinking system. Romance isn’t only about saying i love you, it is more about what can these small words change our behavior !
i truly believe in the importance of romance and i believe that is is one of the keys that would open our society to modernity and better understanding
February 23, 2009 at 6:16 PM
I too believe that Saudi men have a sense of romance in them. Yet, the problem of not expressing it, in my opinion, comes from the fact that, unfortunately, many people in our community are judgmental, and far worse, try to bring down others around them. The weak personality that drives someone into perceiving romance as a weakness in a man is also responsible for that man not expressing the slightest romantic gesture; saying ‘I love you’ to the woman he loves.
I think that most Saudis will agree that romance is something they want, or even need, in their lives. But, it’s the fear of how other people might think of them that terrifies them, and sets the limits they end up unable to cross.
March 2, 2009 at 4:28 PM
it’s true girls are more emotional, but I think Romance isn’t girly thing, it’s a vital part of any relationship
me and couple of friends talked about this issue many times, one of them like to be called “Prine of Romance”, even though he is rude most of the time with us!, he says when it comes to love, his romantic personality take over …
The other thinks expressing Romance not with sweet talk, but through sincere action, like giving presents time to time even without occasion, writing some poet ,something she wouldn’t forget, for that they call him materialistic !!
Yes I agree, most Saudi can’t express their feelings , because we are oriented conservative community..but I read many novels written by western author,watching movies and tv-shows, where the characters find difficulty expressing their emotions, and found hugging embarrassing..
October 13, 2009 at 3:46 PM
Just a quick comment. There is nothing wrong with what you wrote but you are confusing romanticism with romantic love or romance. They are two very different things.
Here is a wikipedia article on romanticism. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanticism
January 6, 2010 at 2:29 PM
I guess it’s that whole “Your weak” syndrome many Saudi men have towards romance. As if it will hurt their manhood if they sweet-talk their significant others in front of others.