Comments on: Do Saudi Men Understand Saudi Women?

By: Ali

Ali — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 06:04:11 +0000

Thanks Murtadha,
I really enjoyed reading your post,,
I study in the UK, and I am a normal Saudi man let say like you from Riyadh..
I am studying master now and my issue with Saudi girls which I would like to bring her is that as we will see each other in the Uni most of the time for one year. I want to treat them as my sisters and like any other girls from different countries who study in the program, when I think about it with what they might have in their minds and what I have regarding the relationship between Saudi girls and boys outside of the Saudi, so I have two choices. First, I will introduce my self to them in formal way and then I can say Slam or Hi when I meat her any time, OR the other way, which I usually do, just say nothing I might just smile first time then after that I just ignore her for the rest of the year and I only talk with her if we have mutual friend ! I am really inside don’t like the second choice but It is always the decision i take.
I have to say that I really understand why we have this situations as we usually don’t see each other in Saudi and we find it difficult to do it her and I notice that most girls from west of Saudi are more open and the have a good communication skills regarding this issue and they manage to deal with this conflict in really proper way.
You know sometimes in the lab for example some of Saudi girls are really struggle with some difficulties which I can help but if she didn’t ask I don’t do any thing. I know she might be shy but also I don’t want her to think that I want to help her as a way to know her because as some reviews her state that they think all Saudi the same, and they go to ask Indian boy or any other students and I really feel sad inside and in some situation I offer my help and they appreciated and depends in her personality some times when we meet again she might chat or ask or just keep it to minimum level.
And most of them if they knew really that you are a good man then we have a normal and good relationship and we treat each other like we are both men or women.
To sum up ,
My problem is generally speaking if you say hello and start to introduce yourself as with any other people then ????? What he up to???
If you ignore girls, ignore in a good way like not even look to them(Like what we do in Saudi with girls) to make them feel comfortable , then they might say ???? what a tough classic Saudi man who lived in the last century !!!!!!!!!
And I really understand the situations and our cultures and rols..
and my sister face the same problem but in the opposite position !
Please advise me,, What should I do t?

Regards,,

By: escortdiary

escortdiary — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 03:20:20 +0000

Great post…….

I only wish more Saudi men and women studied social sciences. I find they all go abroad to study business, or engineer (and ignore any study into societies, like their own)

By: Pedro Bin Fahad

Pedro Bin Fahad — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 13:37:51 +0000

Great Topic ,,,

The Answer would be cuz Saudi Men are from Mars and Saudi Women are from Venus looool

By: omaimanajjar

omaimanajjar — Sat, 29 May 2010 17:17:44 +0000

Hello Murtadha Al Matwa’ah
what a great blog!
this is a very interesting post!
I believe Saudi men don’t have enough exerpince when it comes to dealing with women. Yes, they have intereacted with some girls in US but yet thats not enough. I believe it will take Saudi guys a really long time to be able to understand women.
you know that funn story about the dude who thought that the lady is in luv with him coz she smiled reminded me with a my friend story..
she works in a hospital with men, every time she walks in she says ” hello, How are you?” for a coworker. In less than a week, the dude asked her in date and wanted to travel with her.
he thought he was a ***** for saying Hello.
this sterotype of Saudi is very common!

By: ahmed

ahmed — Sun, 02 May 2010 17:13:10 +0000

good topic

sometimes, you need to ask yourself ” what the women need, want ?? “

By: Murtadha

Murtadha — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:11:47 +0000

Chiara,
very great comment. I am planning to post more about the understanding gap between men and women and how it is difference from culture to another

By: Chiara

Chiara — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:25:54 +0000

Wonderful observations!

In my experience university is an enriching and challenging experience for all students (or else they drop out LOL ). All have concerns about “dating” and who likes them or not, and how to know, and do they “like like” them or just “like”them. This is even harder for students coming from cultures with no dating practices, or high restricted ones (chaperoned dates after official engagement) and high segregation. The other gender is even more of a mystery, and unlike in the romance movies, dating is more difficult than it seems. That includes socializing and getting to know other people in general. You described a great way to do so–through club activities and getting involved.

As much as suddenly deciding to marry someone sounds foolish, in a way it is a socially and culturally appropriate way to express romantic interest and desires for those men coming from highly traditional cultures. The persistence of the socially “clueless” is unfortunately universal; and sadly, yes men do more often wonder why the women was so obtuse as to not want them, whereas women are more likely to wonder where they went wrong.

I really enjoy your observations and thoughts, and I’m looking forward to future posts. Thanks.

By: Murtadha

Murtadha — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:31:27 +0000

Dear T,
I totally agree with you. I notice that when i first came here in portland. Many of saudi guys always try to act and behave in a way that would attract the girl or at least present themselves as good guys.

I have known people who are great, nice and polite with all other people but when you look at them inside their family, you would be amazed by how horrible they are with their family members.

I will take in depth about my experience and more about my observation in upcoming posts but in the same time, i would like to hear your experience and your point of view in such a topic.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comment

By: Murtadha

Murtadha — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:26:23 +0000

Habeeb,
Thank you for visitng my blog my friend .. good to hear from you

susanne430,
There are many great Saudi examples,,most of them blogs in Arabic.. anyway, my goal of the blog is to present an image about saudi arabia without make up,,, the true image..
so thank you for taking part of your valuable time in reading my blog

By: T

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:01:39 +0000

Murtadha,
thank you for bringing up this interesting topic and I’ll be glad if you let me share my thoughts as a Saudi girl.
It doesn’t matter if we are talking about guys in the United States or back home in Saudi Arabia; they are the same.
Whenever I meet a Saudi guy, I wonder why is he so nice with me? he would speak very soft and use very nice words to show respect. at the same time, I hear really bad things about him from friends. from my point of view, I think that Saudi guys do their best to be gentlemen especially in front of us (Saudi girls) to attract us and to be the “supermen”. moreover, I noticed that when a Saudi guy talks with an American girl, he would die to make her laugh and he just makes himself an idiot and clown to get her attention and to keep the conversation as long as he can.
If we talk based in our society the reality would be different. in our society, a man is a good person with other people (friends, colleagues, girls other than his sister or wife..etc) but at home they just don’t care and never try to be nice with the family members especially females or to be more specific “sisters or wives”. you can tell that when you get back home. our cousins treat us “the girls” very nice and they would do anything to get our satisfaction. but unfortunately, that same cousin would never try to satisfy his sister because it’s not important to attract her as a “female”.
I’m not trying to generalize this fact on all of the Saudi men but unfortunately that applies on most of them. It’s hard to explain the relationship between both genders but be sure that if the woman gets her chance in Saudi Arabia, she might step ahead the man and be able to achieve as much as he can achieve.

I’m very eager to read more about this topic, keep the good work up.