Doubt and Life

The French philosopher, Voltaire, has once said that “Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is an absurd one.” And I have never been so doubtful and confused of who I am as now. Life is somehow like a cycle. We move from one doubt to another, from one confusion, to less or maybe more confusion. There is no clear final destination that I know of. Everyone creates or presumes the ending of his story. Some may get the good ending; other may start again from where they end and I happen to be in the middle of between.

Sometimes, I envy kids for the way they look at things. They live the moments as they are, and when they go to bed at night, they have this incredible feeling of excitement for tomorrow. We begin to lose this excitement as we grow. Some people get consumed by work and routine, other by family and friends. The fact is I get consumed alittle by both.

I am so blessed with my family. We are so connected, and so close to the extent that you can’t imagine. I get a minimum of two calls each day from one of my family asking me how I am and update me with all the family news! In cases when I have good news or bad news, my cell phone wouldn’t stop ringing!

This is beautiful some of the time but not all the time! Sometimes I feel the need to keep myself in distance from my family. I care about my privacy and having my own space therefore I started to draw a line that I feel my family shouldn’t cross.

Work is good so far. I joined the professional development program in Saudi Franci Bank after 8 months of intense tests and several interviews. I am happy with the work environment although, I have the anxiety of thinking and planning for my career path. Now, I realize that I need to be more relax and less stressfull about the future. I believe in the law of nature which is to do your best and let the universe do its part!

There is really nothing in this life that worth  stressing out if we all at the end, will be left alone in blank area called a cemetery. Some of us acknowledges this fact in the mid of their life, other acknowledge it one day before the end of their life. What is the point of being the richest man in the cemetery? My friend asked me after the death of Prince Sultan. Now, I paraphrase his question; what is the point of the stressing out  if we are all going to die? Life moves on, and time is counting down! Those who want to enjoy will enjoy, and those who want to complain and get depressed will die with their depression. I try most of the time to enjoy the beauty of nature, the smile of the strangers and the incredible taste of coniencidences in my life and I hope you do.

I doubt myself therefore I know and learn more, therefore I am happy.

P.S I miss you all so much

* All the pictures are taken by me using my Iphone and Instagram applicaion 

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10 Comments

Filed under personal, psychology, Uncategorized

10 responses to “Doubt and Life

  1. Thanks for the update. Great photos. I especially love the one of you and the child. :)

  2. Your last paragraph summarize it all. Why the stress? but we aren’t going to be human if we don’t stress about this and that. If we can surrender it all to our creator and move on but we can not and we won’t.

    You have been missed , too.

  3. Fatema

    I’m reading this at a perfect time because I was just having a splendid week when I heard bad news that might befall my country soon and put me in a very bad place. I’ve worked so hard and it seems like it might all be for nothing. I’ve been stressing for the past hour over something that still has yet to happen. Thanks so much for putting my life in perspective, no matter how grave your situation might be you’l still end up in a grave (no pun intended, I swear it was an accident…)

  4. Jerry M

    “Now, I paraphrase his question; what is the point of the stressing out if we are all going to die?”

    Perhaps as a young man without children you find little worth stressing out about but if you ever have children it will be different. Just this week one of my wife’s grand daughters had a severe flu. It all ended well enough but a child unable to keep her food down for a few days is something worth stressing about. (I think my wife an I stressed out so much because we could not really do anything about it we had to let nature take its course.)

  5. hello murtadah! you’re just beginning to experience “real life” and doubt is always there to distract you. But that’s part of living. All there is to do is to have that emotional and spiritual stability to keep our feet on the ground whenever troubles come. And if we cannot solve the problems and issues right away well sometimes it just has to be left as it is. hang on there.

  6. Thank you so much for this nice read.
    I my self have been going though exactly what you are experiencing. The fear of moving ahead, letting go of the old is confusing. After reading this, I think it is alright to feel this way. We are blessed. Thus, we should live every moment.

  7. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog, your thoughts & photos. Thank you for sharing these glimpses of your journey through life.

  8. Riouf

    Well, they say Better late than never. I happened to come across your incredible blog by coincidence when I was googling the topic “collectivisim in Saudi Arabia”. Well done Murtadha, I really enjoyed reading through your blogs! Best of luck in your future career. I’m wondering why did you stop blogging, Looking forward for your blogs!
    Riouf, Saudi

  9. What else can we do but LIVE. Love. Move forward.

    Love the photo of your family!!

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