Doubt and Life

The French philosopher, Voltaire, has once said that “Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is an absurd one.” And I have never been so doubtful and confused of who I am as now. Life is somehow like a cycle. We move from one doubt to another, from one confusion, to less or maybe more confusion. There is no clear final destination that I know of. Everyone creates or presumes the ending of his story. Some may get the good ending; other may start again from where they end and I happen to be in the middle of between.

Sometimes, I envy kids for the way they look at things. They live the moments as they are, and when they go to bed at night, they have this incredible feeling of excitement for tomorrow. We begin to lose this excitement as we grow. Some people get consumed by work and routine, other by family and friends. The fact is I get consumed alittle by both.

I am so blessed with my family. We are so connected, and so close to the extent that you can’t imagine. I get a minimum of two calls each day from one of my family asking me how I am and update me with all the family news! In cases when I have good news or bad news, my cell phone wouldn’t stop ringing!

This is beautiful some of the time but not all the time! Sometimes I feel the need to keep myself in distance from my family. I care about my privacy and having my own space therefore I started to draw a line that I feel my family shouldn’t cross.

Work is good so far. I joined the professional development program in Saudi Franci Bank after 8 months of intense tests and several interviews. I am happy with the work environment although, I have the anxiety of thinking and planning for my career path. Now, I realize that I need to be more relax and less stressfull about the future. I believe in the law of nature which is to do your best and let the universe do its part!

There is really nothing in this life that worth  stressing out if we all at the end, will be left alone in blank area called a cemetery. Some of us acknowledges this fact in the mid of their life, other acknowledge it one day before the end of their life. What is the point of being the richest man in the cemetery? My friend asked me after the death of Prince Sultan. Now, I paraphrase his question; what is the point of the stressing out  if we are all going to die? Life moves on, and time is counting down! Those who want to enjoy will enjoy, and those who want to complain and get depressed will die with their depression. I try most of the time to enjoy the beauty of nature, the smile of the strangers and the incredible taste of coniencidences in my life and I hope you do.

I doubt myself therefore I know and learn more, therefore I am happy.

P.S I miss you all so much

* All the pictures are taken by me using my Iphone and Instagram applicaion 

April Panorama 2010

It has been known that pictures can speak better than words, so I decided to do Pictures Panorama for April month. I hope you like it!

  • My lunch from Chipotle restaurant. I highly recommend place for healthy fast food!

  • People waiting on lines to buy the apple’s new product, IPad!

  • Trying to follow up with my piano lessons. Piano lessons were not easy as I thought.

  • Portland is the city of art and music. In every corner, you find people playing beautiful music or displaying beautiful arts.

  • Two guys debating the existence of god on our university’s campus. The first guy believe that god exist and that the none-believer will go to hell, the other guys believes that religion is silly and none-sense!

  • A guy with his girlfriend setting and studying together. Isn’t that so lovely! I love people when they express their love in creative way, like setting together and reading something!

  • Eating some Italian food at the Pioneer-Square Mall. I miss my mother’s homemade food. I miss the smell and the taste of her cook.

  • I attended a philosophy conference at Pacific University. I learned how little I know about Philosophy!

  • I babysitt my nephew Mohammed twice a week! It is indeed a very good experience, do not you think that I should add it to my resume? 🙂

  • Here is why I drink coffee a lot: 20% because of the taste of the coffee, 80% because of the thoughts, ideas and emotions that flow continuously into my mind  while I am drinking coffee!

  • This is an interesting book I found while I was walking around in PSU bookstore. I didn’t buy the book because I have a lot of books in my shelfs that I haven’t read yet.

  • I finished two of my midterms so I finally had enough time to write posts in my Arabic blog, Murtadha Diaries. I will think of translating some of what I have written there!

  • I love to contemplate nature! I love to look at the perfect beauty of birds!

Saudi Women and The World

“(Saudi) Young women bloggers are fabulous” said Kirsten Powers in talking about her trip to Saudi Arabia. I have to say that I am so proud of Saudi women who blog, who speak up, who expose their identity, who show their disagreement or agreement about global, political and social issues, who show their feminism, their faiths, their thoughts and creativities so openly. I am so proud of Saudi women who hold a camera and take  photographic pictures and share it with the world in Flickr. I am so proud of Saudi women who hold a pen and write about philosophy, literature, psychology in the newspaper. I am so proud of Saudi women who tweet in Twitter about the lovely voice of their mothers, the romance of their husbands, the funny stories of their children and about everything concern their lives.

And that is why I believe that Saudi women aren’t in anyway less intelligent, creative, caring, beautiful than the rest of world’s women. I wrote this post as a respond to one of my American friend’s question  about why do so many Saudi guys, whom she met here in US, find American women are more attractive, beautiful and intelligence than Saudi women. Well, the answer is that I can’t speak on their behalf, I think they have the right to speak about their personal opinions and preferences. But I also would like to speak about my personal opinion, I find Saudi women are very attractive, beautiful, intelligent, intellectual and creative. and that is why I think I am going to marry a Saudi woman.

By the way, just so that you don’t confuse my personal opinion with my stand on foreign marriage. I strongly believe that Saudi men should have the freedom to  marry whoever they like from wherever they like, but I also believe that Saudi women should have that freedom too. There are so many handsome, romantic and intelligent  foreigners out there who want to marry Saudi women. So, let’s be fair on that.

I Am a Human Being

I am a human being, a simple human being who wants to live his life to the fullest, achieve his dreams, read more and more, travel around the world, meet new friends, fall in love, get married and build a family.

I am a human being with emotions. I feel sad when I see people sleeping on the streets, shocked when I know that the water that I am drinking right now isn’t accessible to  many children and families in Africa and angry when I hear stories about women being raped and abused around the world.

I am a human being with basic desires. I like to wear nice clothes. I like to drink coffee. I like to smile at people and see them smiling back at me. I like to eat Italian, Mexican and Lebanese food. I like to walk a lot by myself early in the morning or late at night. I like to read and memorize the beautiful Arabic poems.

I am a human being. I have a family who I care about, friends who are part of my life, a community in which I participate, a society which I want to change, a world that I want to discover.

I am a human being. I have two feet, two hands,  two ears, one nose, one mouth and most importantly one heart. I can smile and laugh. I can talk and listen. I can dream and hope. I can think and debate.

I am a human being, so before you ask me about my religion, or where I come from, or why I think this way or another, please remember FIRST that I am a human being just like you are.

Thank You

The Story of Buraidah Girl

I have been asked by one of my friends to comment on the marriage of 12 years old girl to 80 years old man in  Buraidah of Saudi Arabia.

The truth is that I can’t write about this story. I really can’t. The reason is that that the process of writing to me is the process of imagining. It is the process of feeling each word I write. and when I imagine this story, when I imagine this little girl standing alone in one room with this monster, I feel paranoid, angry and tortured.  Then, I feel a sense of insecurity, embarrassment, shame and self destruction.

Kathryn Monet

Kathryn Monet! you may not have heard of this name before, but many Saudi students in Oregon have. She used to work for Saudi Cultural Mission as an academic advisor on Saudi students.  We  have never seen someone dedicated to her/his work as much as Kathryn does.

From the first five minutes you talk with her, you will quickly realize how caring she is. I told her in my first conversation with her that I felt as if she is a darling sister to me.  Kathryn to me is more than just an advisor. She is very inspirational person. She gave me an example of how sincerity in your work impacts the life of others and how the little smile and kindness have the power of transforming people lives.

In fact, the day she decided to leave her position in SACM, was very sad day for all Saudi students in Oregon. In my five years experience with Saudi Culture Mission, there has never been someone like kathryn.

Sometimes, saying “thank you” to a person that has been so kind to you isn’t simple because these two words aren’t always capable of carrying our gratitude and appreciation. There has to be something more especial and valuable and I find it important for me personally to acknowledge this person and to talk about how she made a difference in my life.

I have so many wishes in my life and one of them is eternal happiness for Kathryn. I really wish and pray that her life is filled with happiness, health and joys.