books, culture, discussion, history, literature, philosophy, reading, reflection, religions

Edward Said lecture


I am devoting more time this term for studying and reading Edward Said’s books. I found this person  to be the most intellectual professor in the earth. He has an amazing understanding of cultures, religions, politics and even music. I am feeling so attached to him. Last night, I slept while listening to his voice talking about his book Orientalism. His pictures are in everywhere of my room. Please do me a favor and take part of your time to watch his lecture in the video below. It absolutely worth watching


discussion, literature, philosophy, poetry, psychology, quotes, reading, reflection, religions

Hermann Hesse

Hermann Hesse is a German novelist and nobel prize winner. He is actually one of my favorite novelist. Most of his novel explores the search for one’s self and the discovery of individual’s spirit. I have read his novel “Demian” more than once and then i decided that i should select the sentences that gained my attention the most. I highly recommend reading his novel. I hope my selection would give you a motivation to read more of his novels.
Please read my selections of Hesse’s book and let me which one did you like the most?and why?
“It is the story of a man, not for an invented, or possible, or idealized, or otherwise absent figure, but for a unique being of flesh and blood. Yet, what a real living human being is made of seems to be less understood today than at any time before”
“If we were not something more than unique human beings, if each one of us could really be done away with once and for all by a single bullet, storytelling would lost all purpose”
“But every man is more than himself; he also represent the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world’s phenomena intersect, only once in tis way and never again” p1
“I don’t consider myself less ignorant than most people. I have been and still am a seeker, but i have ceased to question stars and books. I have begun to listen to the teachings my blood whispers to me. My story is not a pleasant one; it is neither sweet nor harmonious, as invented stories are; it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams- like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves.” p2
“Each man’s life represent a road toward himself, an attempt as such a road, the intimation of a path, No man has ever been entirely and completely himself. Yet each one strives to become that- one in an awkward, the other in a more intelligent way, each as best he can. Each man carries the vestiges of his birth- the slime and eggshells of this primeval past- with him to the end of his days. some never become human, remaining frog, lizard, ant. some are human above the waist, fish below. Each represents a gamble on the part of nature in creation of the human. we all share the same origin, our mothers; all of us come in at the same door. but each os us- experiments of the depths- strives toward his own destiny. We can understand one another, but each of us is able to interpret himself to himself alone.” p2
“People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest. It was scandal that a breed of fearless and sinister people ran about freely, so they attached a nickname and myth to these people to get even with them, to make up for the many times they had felt afraid.” p24
“I realize today that nothing in the world is more distasteful to a man than to take the path that leads to himself.” p38
“Many people experience the dying and rebirth- which is our fate- only this once during their entire life.” p41
“Their childhood becomes hollow and gradually collapse, everything they love abandons them and they suddenly feel surrounded by the loneliness and mortal cold of the universe.” p41
“You knew all along that your sanctioned world was only half the world and you tried to suppress the second half the same way the priests and teachers do. You won’t succeed. No one succeeds in this once he has begun to think.” p.53
“What is forbidden, in other words, isn’t something eternal; it can change.” p54
“It’s good to realize that within us there is someone who knows everything, wills everything, does everything better than we ourselves.” p74
“There’s an immense difference between simply carrying the world within us and being aware of it. A madman can spout ideas that remind you of Plato, and a pious little seminary student rethinks deep mythological correspondences found among the Gnostics or in Zoroaster. But he isn’t aware of them. He is a tree or stone, at best an animal, as long as he isn’t conscious. but as soon as the first spark of recognition dawns within him he is a human being.” p92
“You wouldn’t consider all the bipeds you pass on the street human beings simply because they walk upright and carry their young in their bellies nine months! It is obvious how many of them are fish or sheep, worms or angels, how many are ants, how many are fish or sheep, worms or angels, how contains the possibility of becoming human, partially even by learning to make himself conscious of them; only in this respect are these possibilities his.” p92
“Oh, yes, each and every religion is beautiful; religion is soul, no matter whether you take part of Christian communion or make a pilgrimage to Mecca.” p95
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” p97
“Sooner or later each of us must take the step that separates him from his father, from his mentors; each of us must have some cruelly lonely experience- even if most people can’t take much of this and soon crawl back.” p 106
“Someone who seeks nothing but his own fate no longer has any companions, he stands quite alone and has only cold universal space around him.” p112
“People like you and me are quite lonely really but we still have each other, we have the secret satisfaction of being different, of rebelling, of desiring the unusual.”p112
“You are only afraid if you are not in harmony with yourself. People are afraid because they have never owned up themselves. A while society composed of men afraid of the unknown within them! they all sense that the rules they live by are no longer valid, that they live according to archaic laws- neither their religion  nor their mortality is in any way suited to the needs of the present.” p118
“one never reaches home” she said. ” but where paths that have affinity for each other intersect, the whole world looks like home, for a time”p122
“Whatever might happen to me now, i was filled with ecstasy: that this woman existed in the world, that i could drink in her voice and breath her presence. No matter whether she would become my mother, my beloved or a goddess- if she could just be here! if only my path would be close to hers!” p123
“It is always difficult to be born. you know the chick does not find it easy to break his way out of the shell.”p123
“Yes, you must find your dream, then the way becomes easy. But there is no dream that lasts forever, each dream is followed by another, and one shouldn’t cling to any particular one.”p124
“You should, however, either be capable of renouncing these desire or feel wholly justified in having them.”p129
“The world wants to renew itself. there’s a smell of death in the air. nothing can be born without first dying.” p136
Thanks for Aysha Akusayer for introducing the Author to me
blogging, personal, philosophy, psychology, reading

my blog’s project!

click on the picture to see it bigger !
the summary of my project:
i will keep track of everything i spend and what i do in every hour. I will also count how many page i read per day. At the end, I will compare my result and get a clear image of how i spend my life. I will put the result in my blog. If you want to participate with me in this project, just keep track of whatever you spend (time,money, reading) and share with me your result
books, culture, reading

feeling frustrated in the MAX

Before i left my room today, i picked quickly Hawthorne’s short stories. I thought that this book would be an easy one to read in the max.
i went to Pioneer Square and waited few minutes in the max station until the max arrived.
with a deep breath and big smile, i start reading the book.
i read the introduction and didn’t understand anything.. not even a single word.
i moved from one chapter to another trying to find a story that i can easily understand but i found nothing. At this moment, i began to feel like crazy. two and a half years in America and yet couldn’t understand even a complete sentence of this book.
Two american guys behind me in the max notice my frustration and knew that my frustration come from this book.
One of them asked me : ” Excuse me, are you reading the Hawthorne’s book for a class?”
” no, i am reading it for fun, i got it from one of my best friend” i replied.
” Really!! i am surprised. Hawthorne books aren’t easy to understand even for english speaker! Hawthorne use the language of 18th century. anyway,i am glad that you gave the book a chance. ” he said
His words were a huge relieve to me. He made me feel that all my work in these last two years didn’t go away.
There are many thing that i love in American society. one of them is that American people always give you new hope, different encouragement, big support and motivation. They give it you regardless of who you were and who you are. They give it you with a smile regardless of your religion and ethnicity. It wouldn’t make a difference to them if they knew that you a muslim or christen, conservative or liberal, unlike the people in my country where small differences in religion divides us into hated groups.

i closed my eyes and then opened the book again with a new attitude. the first paragraph that came out to me is the following :

” How often is it the case that, when impossibilities have come to pass and dreams have condensed their misty substance into tangible realities, we find ourselves calm, and even coldly self-possessed, amid circumstances which it would have been a delirium of joy and agony to anticipate! Fate delights to thwart us thus. Passion will choose his own time to rush upon the scene…” page 194

what a surprise!!, this paragraph came in a time when i really need it 🙂

Especial thanks for the one who gave me this book

books, literature, philosophy, psychology, reading

Eleven Minutes Novel

Reading for me is exactly like traveling. It let you see what was impossible for you to see in your home. Through reading this novel, I came to realize that i know nothing about the world. It is really interesting to look at people life,  to hear their stories, to know how they react in their specific crisis and problems. It is true that everyone of us has his or her own world. I will write my reflection on this novel later but for now, I just typed out some parts of the novel that gained my attention
“at the moment, maria learned that certain things are lost forever. she learned too that there was a place called”somewhere far away,” that the world was vast and her own town was very small and that in the end, the most interesting people always leave” p.4
from her diary
when we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is in on our side. i saw this happen today as the sun went down. and yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! no herons, no distant music, not even the taste of his lips. how is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? life moves very fast. it rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds. p.9
when she arrived home, though, she allowed her universe to crumble; she cried all night, suffered for the next eight months and concluded that love clearly wasn’t made for her and that she wasn’t made for love. she considered a nun and devoting the rest of her life to a kind of love that didn’t hurt and didn’t leave painful scars on heart- love for Jesus. p.10,11
After a long time, she came to the conclusion that men brought only pain, frustration, suffering and a sense of time dragging. p.13
Although my aim is to understand love, and although i suffer to think of the people to whom i gave my heart, i see that those who touched my heart failed to arouse my body, and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart. p.16
everything tells me that i am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. what does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back where i came from because i didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life? p.25
i made my first mistake when i was eleven years old, when that boy asked me if could lend him a pencil; since then, i’ve realized that sometimes you get no second chance that it’s best to accept the gifts the world offers you. of course it’s risky, but is the risk any greater than the chance of the bus that took forty eight hours to bring me here having an accident? if i must be faithful to someone or something, then i have, first of all, to be faithful to myself. p.26
the little experience of life i’ve had has taught me that no one owns anything, that everything is an illusion- and that applies to material as well as spiritual things. p.26
anyone who has lost something they thought was their forever… finally comes to realize that nothing really belong to them. p.26
it is better to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life. p.26
i will die here. but before i die, i want to fight for life. if i can walk on my own, i can go whenever i like. p.41
well, i would feel trapped and sick, terrified of every bend, wanting to get off. however, i believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine, then the nightmare becomes something thrilling. it becomes exactly what it is, a roller coaster, a safe, reliable toy, which will eventually stop, but, while the journey lasts, i must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement. p.48
life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant. p.50
love was undoubtedly one of the things capable of changing a person’s whole life, from one moment to the next. p.53
the second thing that could make human being take a totally different course from one he or she had planned; and that was called despair. p.53
Yes, perhaps love really could transform someone, but despair did the job quickly. p.53
i walk about the streets and look at all the people, and i wonder if they chose their lives? or were they, like me, “chosen” by fate? the housewife who dreamed of becoming a model, the banker who wanted to be a musician, the dentist who felt he should write a book and devote himself to literature, the girl who would have loved to be a TV star, but who found herself instead working at the checkout in a supermarket. p.55
like most people – i let fate choose which route i should take. p.55
in the search for happiness, however, we are all equal: none of us is happy- not the banker/musician, the dentist/writer, the checkout girl/actress, or the housewife/model.p.56
we live in a vale of tears,” she said to her invisible friend. we can have all the dreams we like, but life is hard, implacable, sad.p.61
he wouldn’t pay a thousand francs just to have an orgasm. he wants to be happy. i do too, everyone does, and yet no one is. what have i got to lose if, for a while,, i decide to become a … it’s difficult word to think or even write… but let’s be blunt… what i have got to lose if i decide to become a prostitute for a while?p.62
Honor, Dignity, Self-respect. althought, when i think about it, i’ve never had any of those things.i didn’t ask to be born, i’ve never found anyone to love me, i’ve always made the wrong decision. now i’m letting life decide for me.p62
i am not a body with a soul, i’m a soul that has a visible part called the body.p.73
but if i don’t think about love, i will be nothing.p.73
they all dream of someone who will come along and see in them a real woman-companion, lover, friend. but they all know, from the very first moment of each new encounter, that this simply isn’t going to happen.p.74
i need to write about love. i need to think and think and write and write about love.- otherwise, my soul wouldn’t survive. p.74
she was doing it because she had nothing to lose, because her life was one of constant, day to day frustration.p.75
a man doesn’t prove he’s a man by getting an ererction. he’s only a real man if he can pleasure a woman. and if he can pleasure a prostitute, he’ll think he’s the best lover on the block.p.77
all men, tall or short, arrogant or unassuming, friendly or cold, have one characterstic in common.: when they come to the club, they are afraid. the more experienced amongst them hide their fear by talking loudly, the more inhibited cannot hide their feeling, and start drinking to see if they can drive the fear away. but i am convinced that, with a few very rare exception- p.83
human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. it is the worst of all sufferings.p.88
in order to avoid being tempted by love, she kept her heart for her diary.p.88
all my life, i thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. well, that’s a lie. freedom only exists when love is present. p.90
that is why, regardless of what i might experience, do or learn, nothing make sense. i hope this time passes quickly, so that i can resume my search for myself in the form of a man who understands me and does not make me suffer. p.90
in love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.p.90
this is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.p.90
she finally worked out why she was feeling so uncomfortable: for the first time in many months, someone was looking at her not as an object, not even as a woman, but as something she could not comprehend; the closest she could come to putting it into words was: he’s seeing my soul, my fears, my fragility, my inability to deal with a world which i pretend to master, but about which i know nothing .p.99
how does light enter a house? through the open windows. how does light enter a person? through the open door of love. p.100
well, there are three of me, really, depending on who i’m with. there’s the innocent girl, who gazes admiringly at the man, pretending to be impressed by his tales of power and glory. then there’s the femme fatale who pounces on the most insecure and, by doing so, takes control of the situation and relieves them responsibility, because they don’t have to worry about anything. and, finally, there’s the understanding mother, who looks after those in need of advise and who listen with an all-comprehending air to stories that go in one ear and out the other. which of the three would you like to meet? p.109
there is a name for that pebble: passion. it can be used to describe the beauty of an earth-shaking meeting between two people, but it isn’t just that. it is there in the excitement of the unexpected, in the desire to do something real forever, in the certainty that one is going to realize a dream. p.112
passion send us signals that guide us through our lives, and it’s up to me to interpret those signs. p.112
the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love.p.116
love isn’t to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. but in order to do that, we need the other person. p.116
the universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.p.116
passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling a peace. alot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.p119
no one wants their life thrown into chaos, that is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. they are the engineers of the superseded. p.119.
other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solution to all their problem. they make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. they are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.p.120
keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it- which of these attitudes is the least destructive ? i don’t know . p.12o
when desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.p.133
i’ve met a man and fallen in love with him. i allowed myself to fall in love for one simple reason: i’m not expecting anything to come of it. i know that, in three months’ time, i’ll be far away and he will be just a memory, but i couldn’t stand living without love any longer; i had reach my limit.p.138
if we are desperate, thought, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm , then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.p.139
and then, our bodies learn to speak the language of the soul, known as sex, and that is what i can give the man who gave me back my soul, even through he has no idea how important he is to my life.p.139
pain was no longer a cause of suffering, but a source of pleasure .p.146
there is no greater pleasure than that of initiating someone into an unknown world. taking someone’s virginity – the virginity not of their body, but of their soul. p.147
The Marquis de Sade said that the most important experience a man can have are those that take him to the very limit.p.149
there are people who have never dared to look into the depths of their soul, never attempted to know the origin of that desire to unleash the wild beast, or to understand that sex, pain and love are all extreme experience. p.149
it is true that we only know each other when we come up against our own limits, but it’s wrong too, because it isn’t necessary to know everything ; human beings weren’t made solely to go in search of wisdom, but also to plough the land, wait for rain, plant the wheat, harvest the grain, make the bread. p.151
i am two women, one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. the other wants to be a slave of routine, to family life, to the things that be be planned and achieved. i am the house wife and a prostitute, both of us living in the same body and doing battle with each other. p.151
desire is not what you see, but what you imagine. p.159
Every human being experiences his or her own desire; it is part of our personal treasure and although as an emotion, it can drive people away, generally speaking, it brings those who are important to us closer. it is an emotion chosen by my soul, and it is so intense that i can infect everything and everyone around me. p.165
i have reached a conclusion that sex has come to be used as some kind of drug: in order to escape reality, to forget about problem, to relax. and like all drugs, this is harmful and destructive practice. p.173
if you love another person, you don’t depend on the sex act in order to feel good.p174
the world enjoys suffering and pain. there’s sadism in the way we look at these things and masochism in our conclusion that we don’t need to know all this in order to be happy, and yet we watch other people’s tragedies and sometimes suffer along with them. p,177
ever since we expelled from paradise, we have either been suffering, making other people suffer or watching the suffering of others. it’s beyond our control. p.177
when i had nothing to lose, i had everything. when i stopped being who i am, i found myself. p.189
when i experience humiliation and total submission, i was free. p.189
the art of sex is the art of controlled abandon. p.190
we are human beings, we are born full of guilt; we feel terrified when happiness becomes a real possibility; and we die wanting to punish everyone else because we feel important, ill-used and unhappy. p.194
he made me walk on stone, just as i am making you do today. he made me feel the fold. he forced to understand the beauty of pain, except that the pain was imposed by nature, not by man. he called this shu-gen-do. p.195
she didn’t know if it was the cold or the pain, but she suddenly lost all sense of her own body and entered a state in which there was no desire and no fear, only mysterious.. a mysterious peace. p.198
there are certain suffering which can only be forgotten once we have succeeded in floating above our own pain. p.198
if you can live without suffering, that’s great step forward, but don’t imagine that other people will understand you. p.201
pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that should bring only joy: love. p.201
she thinks about the other prostitutes who work with her. she thinks about her mother and her friend. they all believe that man feels desire for only eleven minutes a day, and they will pay a fortune for it. that’s not true; a man is also a woman; he wants to find someone, to give meaning to his life.p.209
without the bird, her life too lost all meaning and death came knocking at her door. why have you come? she asked death. so that you can fly once more with him across the sky. death replied : if you had allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him even more; alas, you now need me in order to find him again. p.315
Money! a special piece of paper, decorated in sombre colors, which everyone agreed was worth something- and she believed it, everyone believed it- until you took a pile of that paper to bank, a respectable, traditional, highly confidential Swiss bank and asked: could i buy back a few hours of my life? no, madam, we don’t sell, we only buy. p.224
if we are in exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots. if we are far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them. If we are far from the person we love, everyone was pass in the street reminds us of them.p.231
a time to weep and a time to laugh
a time to get and a time to lose
books, philosophy, psychology, reading, reflection

my reflection on the book into the wild

Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past

The summary of the book

i have read somewhere… that if you don’t make your own life,,, you have to accept the life that is given to you. this story illustrate this saying more in the reality.
the story of this odd guy named Cristopher is that he didn’t like at all the world that is created to him so he decided to run away,,, far away from his family,, his friend ,,, from the civilization as the whole to created his own world..

he chose the wild as the best place to live in.. the simplicity,,, the beauty and harmony of the wild motivate him to leave all what he has.
when he decided to go to the wild, he changed his name to Alex. he also burned all his identification papers and papers. he didn’t tell anybody (include his closest sister ) about his unique journey.
Two years he walks the Earth. No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate
freedom. the road was his home and the wild was his passionate.
he end up in Alaska where the harsh weather and simplicity exist in harmony
he found that magic bus where he spent most of his time in it
he scratched on every side of the bus to leave great memories and significant messages to every generation.
many people think what Alex has done is completely insane
but me ,, i think what he has done is uniquely significant and he died for a purposed
that however, doesn’t mean that i agree with most of his ideologies about the solitariness and autonomy.
Alex died inside that bus in Alaska and three weeks later,, people found his body inside that magic bus

Some parts of the book with my reflection

1) running away from TIME and PLACE

i don’t want to know what time it is. i don’t want to know what day it is or where i am. none of these matter. Alex, page7

our life in this world is limited by two things… time and place.. we are living in this world with deadline. the more we live the closer we become to our ending point.we can’t be living in the infinity.
we normally try to pretend that this fact isn’t true but at some point of our life we get to believe what we were trying to avoid so long
we are also limited by a place. i can’t be in two place in the same moment. i can’t have my feet in USA and my eyes in Saudi Arabia and still can walk.. i don’t wanna get physics involved here 🙂
because of the complexity of the time and the place,, the religion becomes the most important factor in our life.
anyway, i don’t want to talk about religions and their core understanding of time and place.

anyway,, I think Alex was trying to go to the place where allow him to ignore the the limitation of place and time. the place where he can live in his own imagination and in his perception
i don’t think he really found that place in the reality level because you can’t live in nowhere or anywhere without the existence of TIME

i think Alex was trying to run from him self to him self and that the most difficult thing we may ever face in our life.. running from our selves to our selves is like running from none point to another none point

2) Making a radical change in our life

i think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never thought of doing, or been to hesitant to attempt. so many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditional to a life of security, conformity and conservatism. all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. page57

i totally agree with Alex in this point,,, we don’t really live our life,, we live the life that is constructed to us.
so all of us have no choice other than to accept that choices that are given to us.
i think this is the baggiest mistake that we make in our life..
i think we should make our own choices .. our life.. our world..our own society.
i know sometimes that ,,, we have to risk something ,,, to gain something else..
i think sometimes,, we need to lose the security,,, conformity in order to free ourselves…
Alex in his journey made an enormous sacrifice… he risked his security.. his money..
but he gain something baggier than all that… he gained him self and i consider this as a big achievement.
if i know my self at any point,, i would be the happiest one in the world…
but the journey of knowing my self is so long and complicated.. and it is full with obstacles and confusion
the most difficult question that i have ever heard is WHO ARE YOU?
and what make me crazy that people answer it innocently simple.. the answer doesn’t start with I AM blah
it is who i am !!

3) our life within human relationship:

you are wrong if you think joy emanates only or principally from human relationship. god has placed it all around us. it is in everything and anything we might experience. we just have to have a courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living. page57

i don’t want comment so much in this point because i don’t want you to think that i am psychologically ill
but i wanna say one thing.. i believe that people who have a good communication with society while they are having troubles in communicating with themselves are loosing both of society and themselves.
study all the psychological background of criminal people… they are all misunderstand them selves so they looked for revenge.. they think the society stole it from them

4) the existence of loneness in our life:

i have been thinking more and more that i should always be alone wanderer of the wilderness. god, how the trail lures me. you cannot comprehend its resistless fascination for me. after all the lone trail is the best… i will never stop wandering and when the time comes to dies, i will find the wildest, loneliest, most desolate spot there 91

i don’t understand people when they talk about loneness..
they think that the lonely person is the one who isn’t social or always being away of human relationship
but in fact that isn’t true… i can sit in my room for a whole month without communicating with any ourside human being and still become very social.. because i can make my own society…
the walls that around me… the air… the sky … the trees …all these things are part of our society

4) The significance of adventure in our life:

the very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. the joy of life comes from our encounters with new experience. page57

i think our life as a whole is an adventure… and only trough obstacles and difficulties, we can know who we are and where we are going…

4) The importance of Truth:

rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth
from the book that Alex was reading … page 117

this is my best quotation i read so far…
there is no meaning for our love,, our money,, our fame,,, if we are living in fake ….
i think if you lose the truth,, you lose everything,,, your happiness,, your future,,, your dream and even your love…

so i don’t need your love,, your money,, your help if you aren’t giving me the truth

4) some of sentences that i highlight from the book:

everything had changed suddenly– the tone, the moral climate; you didn’t know what to think, whom to listen to. as if all your life you had been led by the hand like a small child and suddenly you were on your own, you had to learn to walk by yourself. there was no one around, neither family nor people whose judgment you respected. at such a time you felt the need of committing your self to something absolute-life or truth of beauty of being ruled by it in place of the man-made rules such ultimate purpose more fully, more unreservedly than you had ever done in the old familiar, peaceful days, in the old life that was now abolished and gone for good
for the book that Alex was reading … the need for purpose page 103

the season of snows was preferred, that i might experience the pleasure of suffering and the novelty of danger page 157
from the book that Alex was reading

it is nearly impossible for modern man to imagine what it is like to live by hunting. the life of a hunter is one of hard,seemingly continuous overland travel… a life of frequent concerns that the next interception may not work, that tramp or drive will fail, or that the herds will not appear this season, above all, the life of a hunter carries with it the threat of deprivation and death by starvation. page 187

Now what is history? it is the centuries of systematic explorations of the riddle of death, the view to overcoming death. that ‘s why people discover mathematical infinity and electromagnetic waves, that’s why they write symphonies. Now, you can’t advance in this direction without a certain faith. you can’t make the discoveries of this equipment are in the Gospels. what are they? to begin with, love of one’s neigbor, which is supreme form of vital energy. once it fills the heart of man it has to overflow and spend itself. and then the two basic ideals of modern man– without them he is unthinkable — th idea of free personality and the idea of life as sacrifice page 187
Boris Pasternak the passage that Alex remark

the beauty of this country is becoming part of me. i feel more detached from life and somehow gentler.. i have some good friends here, but no one who really understands why i am here or what i do. i don’t know of anyone, though, who would have more than a partial understanding; i have gone too far 91

in may after all, be the bad habit of creative talents to invest themselves in pathological extremes that yield remarkable insights but no durable way of life for those who can’t translate psychic wounds into significant art or thought
from in search of miraculous the book that Alex was reading during his journey. page70

thanks for reading this so long reflection.. and i tried so hard to illustrate what i think of this great novel in simple way
books, reading

the book and the movie

I read somewhere… how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong… but to feel strong

Christopher McCandless

i will write soon my reflection about the amazing story
it is a real story of brave who left his family, his fame, his money to go to the wild
and create his own world there
i watched the movie in the final week
it was exactly the right time to watch
right after i watched the movie, i bought the book from the bookstore
i am reading it.. i am very sure that it will make a whole change inside my self

books, philosophy, psychology, reading, reflection

Reading “The Autobiography of Malcolm X”

“you can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom”
” Malcolm X “

I really admired Malcolm X, not because he was a black or even a Muslim but because he fought for what he think is right. He made the awareness among his nation. He free the slavery of his own community and he acknowledged that some people are slave not to their master but to themselves and freedom can’t come to them unless they free themselves. After reading this book, I think I found what I was really missing in my self.

This book does change many of my perspectives and I will read it every time i feel hopeless.

  • Brief Summary of The Book:

Malcolm X is a black American. His father was killed because he believed that the black man is human being just like everyone else and he should have the right to live respectively like all white man. Malcolm X was living during the black slavery time in America.When he was a child, he was really smart and his teacher asked him about what he want to be in the future.
malcolm x said that he want to be a lawyer then his teacher looked at him and said : you have to be realistic in this country. black people can’t be a lawyer” However, after the lost of his father, he lived a trouble life which led him to jail. In the prison, Malcolm X discovered himself. He converted to Islam and he dedicated his time for reading books and studying at the prison. After he got out of prison, he began fighting for black right in America. He became a member of Elijah muhammad organization. However, Malcolm X was kind of racist in the beginning because he believed that black man should be separated from white man. But after his pilgrimage to Mecca, he discovered a really amazing fact that led him to change his perspective. He found that people from all races and countries live together in harmony, eat together, walk togather, pray together.

Some black people became jealous of him especially when he became the minster of black organization and all the TV was focusing specifically on him because of his popularity among white and black people inside and outside of America.

At the end, he was assassinated by black people when he was giving a speech in 1965.

He left us after he made this huge change in the society.
He was and will never be forgotten by all people from Asia to Africa and to America.

  • Some of nice equations from his book with my own reflection:
1) Story
” I was in my car driving along the freeway when at a red light another car pulled alongside, A white woman was driving and on the passenger’s side, next to me, was a white man. “Malcolm X!” he called out – when i looked, he stuck his hand out of this car, across at me, grinning. “Do you mind shaking hands with a white man?” Imagine that! just as the traffic light turned green, I told him, ” i don’t mind shaking hands with human beings. Are you one ?” ( page 418 )

I am really astonished with Malcolm X respond to that man. i can’t say other than ( Malcolm,, i really love you )
2) Malcolm X and his view of disagreement:
” since i learned the truth in Mecca, my dearest friends have come to include all kinds – some Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Agnostics and even Atheists! I have friends who are called Capitalists, Socialists and Communists! Some of my friends are moderates, conservatives, extremists… My friends today are black, brown, red, yellow and white ! ( page 432)

If every muslim in the middle east understands fully these sentences, the Islam will be fine and we wouldn’t have the problems that we have today.
guys,, the disagreement doesn’t me that i am fighting with or against you. it is just disagreement … it is really as simple as that.
many of us have pilgrimage to Mecca but many of us don’t really understand the concept of Alhaje as Malcolm x did.
3) Studying in the Malcolm’s perspective :
” I would just like to study. I mean ranging study, because i have a wide-open mind. I’m interested in almost any subject you can mention. I know this is the reason i have come really like, as individuals, some of the hosts of radio or television panel programs i have been on. and to respect their minds because even if they have been almost steadily in disagreement with me on the race issue, they will kept their minds open and objective about the truths of things happening in this world” ( page 432 )
I really found these sentences are really motivated.. It really push me forward for more critical thinking. it also change the way i view the word studying it is more likely to be enjoyable than hardship.

4) Time value and Malcolm X:
” i have less patience with someone who doesn’t wear a watch than with anyone else, for this type isn’t time conscious” – ” In all our deeds, the proper value and respected for time determines success or failure” (page 444)
I was known among my friends as the most one who doesn’t value the time.
That it is true.. but i think Malcolm X have changed my perspective especially when i read this sentence in his book. beginning from this moment,, i will value time importantly and greatly.
books, psychology, reading, reflection

my reflection on Zahir book

I finished reading ” The Zahir ” by Paulo Coelho. It was such a good novel. I like most of Paulo’s books so far. Even though this novel tends to be classical one, it brings new concepts about freedom, love and dignity. The novel talks mainly about a wife called Esther, who left her husband for a purpose of change. Her husband was well known author. He thought that her wife left him because she didn’t like him anymore or because she found another man. Her husband began to think about himself again and then he discovered a lot of things especially when he met Mikhail. (the guy who met Esther in Afghanistan when she was covering the war there)

I didn’t like the end of this novel, but i really enjoyed learning what that man has discovered and learned about himself.
Here is what I learned from the novel :
  • Every one needs to forget his personal history :
In order to feel every sense of happiness in our life, we need first to free ourself from our past, the past that follow us, the past that controls us, the past that forces us to act in this way or another. This is precisely true when it comes to our life. We don’t act as we truly are, because we have one line that we can’t pass. It is our past. We talk exactly the way our parents taught us. We suffer from the past and we keep suffering when we think that past is following us.
  • Let things go :
quote from the novel :
” This is why it is important to let things go. To release them. to cut loose. people need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get something back. Don’t expect recognition for your efforts. Don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. not out of pride. inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get ride of the dust. stop being who you were and become who you are “
  • When you are facing a pain, and there is no way to get out of it, make it as your friend:
quoted from the novel :
” focus on the cold, until you stop trembling. let the cold fill your every thought, until there is no space for anything else, until it becomes your companion and your friends. don’t try to control it. don’t think about the sun, that will only make it worse, because you will know then that something else- heat- exists and then the cold will feel that it is not loved or desired”
I think this is a really wonderful point, and I think it has changed my view toward a lot of issues in my life. Yesterday, I walked in the market and i found an IPhone. Since I don’t have money to buy it, I decide to believe that the IPhone doesn’t even exit in the planet and then I kept walking as I didn’t see any thing.
See.. how this change what i feel and what i think!!
This can apply to our painful experience. There is really nice quotation ,,, ” if you are going to the hell,, keep going ” It means that don’t waste your time of blaming yourself, or suffering because of that problem..pretend that you are having wonderful time with that problem.
enjoy you time with that problem.. make your game in your life.. nothing more important than your enjoyment !